He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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