just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize