I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize