At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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