Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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