me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize