It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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