ya dads aren't the best wingmen
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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