well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize