3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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