her vagine was all disorganized.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize