Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize