Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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