6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come share oat with me in your robe
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize