yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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