You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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