miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
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The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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