im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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