she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize