I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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