FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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