we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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