Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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