I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize