I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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