my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I touched a dick in church today
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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