Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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