What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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