Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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