We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize