we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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