I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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