next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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