Girls should come with a carfax report
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize