no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
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did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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