Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
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Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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