Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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