I cannot find my penis.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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