We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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