The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
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He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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