awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize