its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize