My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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