That's intense
Your tits are I can't wait for
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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