so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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