It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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