:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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