I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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