Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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