i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
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it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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